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Anxiety, anyone?

Now that it's September I'm getting anxious.

I have my pre-op medical appointment set for a week from today; my surgery is in 17 days and I am so not looking forward to it 😐. No surprise there.

I also don't like the "not knowing" -- not knowing how long I'll take to heal from surgery. Two weeks? Three weeks?

Not knowing when I can start radiation, how much radiation I will need (22 treatments like Gini? More? Less?)

Not knowing "what's next."

Some Buddhist I am -- the whole idea of "beginner's mind" is really "not knowing." Roshi Bernie Glassman describes some of this in his article The Three Tenets of the Zen Peacemakers as he describes a "street retreat," something I'm in no hurry to do, mind you, but Glassman does have a point.

From the article:"For me, part of the state of not knowing is entering into the worlds I am afraid of, entering into worlds about which I have no idea. I’m drawn to those aspects of myself that I do not understand, that I fear, that are a mystery."

 So I guess if I keep my "beginner's mind" I might learn something about myself, too!

 Now if I could just figure out how to make friends with my anxiety!!

Comments

  1. jimSeptember 8, 2017 at 8:01 AM

    I see anxiety as a stress and one needs to wrestle with it to keep it in control...take it on in downward facing dog poses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ConnieSeptember 8, 2017 at 10:57 AM

      Thanks for this reminder--I've been doing yoga pretty much every other day, and trying to meditate too.
      I agree with you about wrestling with it--staying present is the only way!

      Delete

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